Grief is different for every person. Many find that grief doesn’t follow a linear path - there are days you might feel completely fine, and others where your loved one’s absence may feel devastating. Predicting the path of grief is almost impossible. Taking active steps to move forward after loss can mean a lot of different things.
You need to recognize that your life won’t "go back to normal". You’ve experienced a substantial loss - someone you love is no longer physically with you. When you get back into a rhythm of daily routines, that person won’t be a part of those routines. Some days, that may be very hard, and that’s okay. Back in the day, people would wear black for months during the grieving process - a recognition of how painful grief can be. Don’t be hard on yourself if things don’t feel normal for a long time, and don’t hesitate to tell others that you’re grieving.
Talking to a grief therapist is a powerful and active step you can take to move forward after death. While we strive to provide the best general advice we can on this blog, a therapist can talk to you about your specific situation and offer you personalized advice. Talking to a therapist is an active step in and of itself; taking their advice is active, too.
Stillness can be active. Taking time to be alone with your thoughts, moving slowly, practising mindfulness, and reducing stressful activities - these can all be important parts of the healing process. For many, stillness will require more conscious effort than taking steps that seem more material. There are a lot of people who grieve by problem-solving but sometimes, the best way to solve your problems is to do nothing at all and give your mind and body a chance to heal.
Taking up activities that help you increase your mindfulness can help, too. Consider exercises like yoga that help you reconnect with your body and breath. Exercise routines, from jogging to kickboxing, can help you let out anger and frustration. You may feel a loss of control when a loved one dies - working on self-improvement can help you gain a new sense of control.
Create rituals to honour your loved one. On special days, you might write them a letter. You might set a day every week or month to pay your respects to them. Keep them in your heart and don’t feel ashamed of your own emotions - feel your emotions actively. Read books above grief, about love, and about self-improvement.
We’re here to support you before and after loss, from funeral pre-arrangements to these blogs, offering what advice we can to help you navigate a difficult time. Our funeral chapel in Roblin, Manitoba has its doors open to you anytime you need us; get in touch and we’ll be here to help.
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